for my bad days!

bad days!

peace is an afterthought.
in hindsight i'm a scourge.

the world is out to get me.
running away is not my style.

i've lost many a time before.
loosing hurts,it really does.

love,life,friends and yes death.
are nasty,brutish,cunnin n short!

i'll come when it's my turn.
out of turn could piss my angel off.

and when i come do not wait,run.
for the jesus is not my lord.

and i'll take your eye for my eye,
your heart for mine and i do what i say!

you are going far,but keep lookin.
the rear view mirror will show me soon.

your foot on the accelerator,
turn turn n turn,yet i'll catch you.

for what i'v to do i do,i ain't the;
Forgetting Kind.

peace is an afterthoght.
buy it from me not.

i'll come sooner or later,
to take what i'v to take.

watch your rear view mirror.
i'm coming soon.


for all my bad days.

?

it's cold on top of me mountain,
they told me 'get on top' n see far,
well they had me goin far to be here,
n to think this is where Shangri La's to be.
on a plain i stood not many days ago,
built a home on a plateau for peace,
to be far a from human disease.

but walls around and maidens surrounded,
don't give the pleasures of heaven,whatever they maybe.
enchanted and entrapped by thoughts of generations past,
of a time of honour,valour,a time of excitement n undyin love,
when i could've died for a word or been killed by a gentler sword.
seekin heights n a fresher breeze,left me no choice but be infected,
first,of a disease they called curiosity n to find why mountains are a no no.


"Y are there no roses on top of this mountain?why is everythin so white n of hardened softness?"


in science and in peace,aren't them mountains our youngest sinners sir?
young and allurin forever to men is the deadliest of all sins i say,
to let no life n love grow and kill the sweetest of smiles.aye.
selfish and a cold stranger to visitors n to think,the lord,
built the heavens on top of the mountains of the east,
i'm gettin weary at last,the hunger has changed.
from that for heights n glory to that for sanity.

wells it too late for saner times now.
i'm on top n all alone,but this lonely tree gives,
a shade for two,n the only one friend i knew left me,
tryin to tie me to the ground and beggin for the rose in hand.
Tryin to b a man n brought up on lies on heights.
" look the flowers,oh look at 'em butterflies,
i see all,apples n peaches,the warm sun."


"al alone for me on my mountain top,
Damn the old folk who lied n died,
I ain't goin back home now"

P. speaks!

my time was short,my words shorter,and deeds (none i remember )!

i had a face (you didn't see) ,i had a phase (passing.but you did see)!

you had me down,i played my part (that of a clown),yet i saw a frown!

i talk well (no fault of mine),with all i do not gel (in part,fault's mine)!

i have words in my mouth(they come out),don't put in any (from the south)!

i remember what i said (i'v to),or in these parts i'll be dead!

but politics is a game (know to play),if not i'll have to tame (careful what you say)!

you come to me sleazy (how cheap),i'm not that crazy (i was taught to leap)!

there's no space for vanity,and i'm not falling for flattery!

you might find a zombie for help,but when a bee stings,even dogs yelp!

we are all young,the paths we tread narrow....then why to rubber we be hung?

i've a cold cold heart....worse...i hate it when in my face someone does fart!

it's easy come easy go (for me),you hit me from below (just cos i got balls)!

my balls have always got me trouble,but (since i've them) i'm also humble!

so if you haven't any...or if they are gone..don't get someone's on a loan!

coyote....

Look at me Coyote
Don't let a little road dust put you off
You can't judge a book
Well you know that stuff
There's a tear in my upholstery
And a hole in my shoe

But don't you just wish that you could
Make half of the speed I do
Speed I do, speed I do, speed I do


You can't catch me Coyote
Though there may be blood on the tracks
There may be some bridges burning
Behind our backs
But I got my laundry on the backseat
And an itinerary too

And don't you just wish that you could
Make half of the speed I do
Speed I do, speed I do, speed I do
Speed I do, speed I do, speed I do


Now I'm a speck on your horizon
Getting smaller fast
An ambush wouldn't be surprising
I hope it's better than your last
Once again the roadrunner
Leaves the coyote in the dust
You've got another plan of action
But we all know it ain't never gonna work
It must be hard having dog dreams
That never come true


And don't you just wish that you could
Make half of the speed I do
Speed I do, speed I do, speed I do
Speed I do, speed I do, speed I do



_Coyote___Mark Knopler

whitherin' youth.

i've been wandering as a result of which i've started wondering at the sad state of affairs the young man's heart is having. an young man should by the laws of nature or as i see it be full of life,must be having all the good things nature has bestowed on him/and the earth. i say if a young man isn't smiling or brimming with joy there is something wrong with the world. the world is right when the young are restless and the young feel the urge to be naughty (a diplomatic usage). the young rebel,the aged try to cage them,this is the way it should be,and that is when a cat is a cat and a mouse a mouse.

look around and i did,i saw no youth as an young romantic! where have all the "life is an open road" / "flower children" / "heroes" gone? we have lost the young man to history. Yes the " Establishment " has won....the 21st century will go down in history as the ' age of the establishment '. And with it " innocence has ended ".

the young were not polluted when young in the good old days i guess,but today it seems they come polluted....... the process of growing up in a system then " hating the system " and dying a "martyr" / changing it / attempt to change then fail / loving it (in some cases in the past,like George Orwell's 1984) doesn't happen anymore!

the stage of "questioning the establishment " happens no more,the system has changed so much,it has a place in it for the "rebels" too......a new kinda boxing bag given to the young to vent out their anger...so they can let loose and still love the system,if you want to "box" go box with the system rather than hit at the bag provided.

but the young are contended to do as asked,it's the system that asks questions now,not the rebels....."the end of history as stated by fukuyama was due to the fall of communism" but let me ask you isn't communism a romantic dream that smittens the young at first (not lookin at the leaders,they are old)......so if communism ended that means the young have lost the romanticism in their nature,for that political ideology thrives in this more than anything.

so history died yesterday,when the youth stoppoed dreaming of a place outside the system and started building castles in the air of homes in the system. the world thrives on change...and it's the youth that bring it, you can throw arguments like so long as science exists there will be change,i ask you will you guarantee me that science will give this worl a new generation of "flower children"/ "hell's angels" / or even " a rebel without a cause" ?

people like this...

So,you plan your life do you?

So, you get the misconception that one can plan one's life.And life inevitably includes "love".Simply because dead don't love,but the dead can be loved (either b'cos they are dead or after they die you feel their worth) And in the life of man/woman,it is a feeling/emotion/bane/trait (etc.) that won't ever die (option of suicide/murder of love left open). With the thought one plans one's life,one carries forward the belief one plans one's love too.

Let's see the many aspects of a plan.For one you need a target which you set to achieve (the target would be at a distance of course).And then you brace yourself for a step by step procedure (clandestine/open method).And then the most important of it all,your single minded devotion/determination to acheive it (by hook or crook in some cases).The factors affectin the reach of a target in life when overcome will be "hurrayed" by all people,and it feels good that way (but what i'm concerned here is not of the accolades rather of one's individual happiness). Hmmmm will this work in love?

A person who plans his life will have the misconception that he/she can plan for love too.(i'm talkin of one side of the coin not the other,purely because i don't believe love can be planned).One can plan for love if one plans to love "oneself".... you see there are no external factors(in this case).But when we are talkin of true,unconditional,"i'll die for you" kinda love,plannin is absurd, cos you can't plan to be "true","unconditional" etc..

Yes,at times you can trap a person you need to love you,but what is love without honesty? and would this single minded devotion to reach your target get you accolaades? no rather you might me called a bastard or bitch for it.Why? because in your love there was nothin called romance/love.And the only person who will say it was love is you,and in perspective you were not actually in love with the person but rather with yourself,for to get a man/woman to love you,you should market yourself and to be successful in that you must love yourself.(this is the case when you have a person existing as a target,in that you have seen him/her).

(but what happens when you have a plan to love a person so far non existant...."i'll love this kinda guy/gal syndrome")

memories should linger !

it's absurd to think i don't remember people,i do actually and that is why at times life is such a pain.


memories should linger,or there is something wrong with one being categorised as human,our ability to register our emotions as memories and then call back on those memories and feel the same emotion over again,is the best and worst part of our make up as humans.so haven't we all felt love,shorn off the sexual hints that modern life has added to the word?

and were those the best of times? or the worst of us as persons were shown? sit back sip your coffee,smoke your cigarette or that much desired peg when this memory comes callin...and ask wouldn't you want to be in that point in time again if you could? what could you have done different by the way? said you loved her? kept your mouth shut? said yes? said no? bizarre isn't it? cause there is a good chance that your mind would keep shiftin from one answer to another a hundred times by the time you finish the fag or the kick of liquor or coffee dies off. And in the end you don't reach a decision but rather ask yourself why the fuck did i even think of it again?


but,eh? we are human,can't help thinkin of it.so a singer sang "what's love got to do wit it"....well she kept askin the question cos of love in the first place.

wish we could be dogs at times,rather wish we could be animals all the time....cos to a large extent we are dogs every time the heat is on in our loins,yes we are.we run with our tongues out every time a bell rings that lets us know " mate ho!".
is it a question of beauty then? No. cos we definitely aren't runnin in front of them,we runnin behind...maybe it's the beauty of the backside huh? if this is what we are,what happens when the bell in our heart explodes?


we are overcome by more emotions than what we at normal times can have at any one stage,we are run over by passion,compassion,rage....and god knows what else.the younger one's do make mistakes aplenty,but hey the good part is our heart's never be that freezin cold till we dead. that is why the thought of a woman with a cold cold heart so confuses me,if my earlier statement holds then the lady must have died a long time ago.
And death of the soul is the death of love,and the end of the "love" feelin is the end of life as humans have known it,what comes in it's place is a mechanical being that except in a one off experiment like in the bicentenial man leaves a piece of workin machinery in the place of what was a human bein,which may i add even gives birth without love. What my friends i ask is the creation of a new being valued as,if no love was put into the makin of this new life. it is made without love so can you expect it to be loved or give love?

......................end of part ....1................

she's left..without an yes

the sun could've been blue,
and the sky a bright yellow.


i could've been true,
or a jolly good fellow!


but then you would've said Yes,
in love i would've died for you.


then men would play with cats,
and granny have a dog on her lap!


i would've to beleive in angels,
and the fairy godmother granting wishes.


Now it isn't so.


but everything could've been,
and every lie been seen.



One day they'll stop asking,
why broken hearts die?


hands that held roses three,
will die holdin a lily.


then i'll only be a ghost,
from the times of wee willie winkie.


on that day the frost,
'll no longer be chilly.


And from that day i'll rest,
knowing she's left,

my memory.

error ridden rear view mirror

cacophony of errors found in my rear view mirror,

a waving pedestrian-must've been a friend,now just a grain.

(a pedestrian friend now just a grain)

Did i miss much riding,looking back as i speed by?

i missed something red! left many things unsaid.

those mistakes'll haunt me not,i left before the dust settled.

the road ahead i'll never see,if my eyes are still,

glued to the rear view mirror,scared of memories catching up.

won't let them catch me,won't let them tie me down.

And so i ride,Error ridden further,looking at my rear view mirror.

life..

it does seem an awful way to put things in perspective,but to be in the situation i'm in,is to a complete extent not of any one else's doin but of my own.



i've put a rope around my neck,tied it's end onto a tree,and sat on a pissed off horse.Now can i blame the horse for runnin away?



life,ah ! what a bitch! seems nothin is going right anywhere in the world today.

you wake up in the mornin it's the same old thing with the "what do i do today?" question. so you call up people from what is left of a vibrant gang,who by the way did nothin but smoke up and down the steps....and the best idea you can come up is we meet at the same old place sit there and smoke plannin for the day,by the time you plan somethin the day's over,but stiil you part sayin "hey,there's always tomoro". Hmmm a great bunch of optimist asses.

So what do you do in a time when all that we can hope for is a lottery from up above.There is no shortage of intelligence,so what are we short of? the will? well it's definitely not the will to survive cos i got lots of it....so what is the missin link?

."F".

fellow-traveller,felon ;

felony felt female,

F e m i n i n e !

femme fatale..



..............to questions bein asked :
..............the thing above is poetry,it is in the order the words appear in the dictionary, i.e the words starting from 'fel to fem ', put together they make sense (atleast i think so)
the title of the poem is ".F.",it is because all the words begin with F and nothing more,the alternate title could be "femme fatale".

riding the sunset

I've seen the sun rise,
seen enough to call me wise.

there was a day of the purple sun,
when the world was a chocolate,
and i couldn't just have enough,
of a smoke which was all fun.

i've walked a mile,
short enough to bring a smile.

somewhere down the road i lost it,
the world round,turned me around,
the sun burned my back,slapped my face,
long before i know i had been hit.


i felt the sun set,
by then i was feeling dead.

down went the sun,sky smelt orange,
and the dust beneath my face felt soft as baby bed,
i felt the Marlboro man,smoke in hand,
riding the sunset....

die narcissus die

i'll kick myself...

i swore never to love you again!
but this is the last..
and i can't find an excuse not even something like:
"for old times sake"
! don't remember anything worth calling old times!

and as for the bitterness,

as it shall rise at the ends of my tongue:
it shall end at the wallowin depths of my stomach.
the pain has so distanced the pleasure of this exercise,
i know i'll be less of a man if i go on.
for happiness is a search better off withoutwhat thou brings.


in self,

shall you find the happiness of vanity bought,
by selling the last left of Narcissus left by the river.
a flower that once leaves it's mirror of self on the river is better dried for the scent that lingers...
for it's beauty is dead once reflection is lost.
and lost has the Narcissus it's mirror and lost has it the home by the heart.

pray the magicians of paris make perfume lik the olden days...

pray the memory lingers in scent.

happy b'day

yes,

poetry is a dying art,
and so is my tribe.
death comes at no prize
and is no more a crime.
youth never haunts but old age does.
a decade or two is never startin dusk.
for aren't the mountains still young.
forever youth it does give rivers.
yet age you must,or can't be human.
and as few befor you,age shall you:
like tender vine.


shall,

take thy leave now,
joinin my tribe.
but die shall i in my time.

A LOUSY DEAL !

{i'm sure friends you are well versed in the way we as a nation have come into being.}



our fore fathers,have proclaimed that
"we the people of india" resolve to form a nation known as India or Bharat,"we" being every individual who resided in the british build dominion (with their geographical boudaries).

so, we came into being as a nation that is "democratic","sovereign" etc.taking into consideration the struggles our forefathers went through to get the now often misused "freedom",and taking into consideration their right as knowledgeable beings to bring forth a "constitution" for the just born state of India i'v the followings misgivings and a question to ask that is troubling me.


DID OUR FOREFATHERS CHOOSE RIGHT IN REFERRING TO THEIR DECISION AS OURS TOO?

correctly put our constitution makers have greatly been influenced by the social contract theory,put forward by Thomas Hobbes,Locke and Rousseau..and it's variations through the years and by various legal opinons expounded by English and American Jurisprudence.

To better understand this one must first have a clear thought on what Social Contract is.

Thomas Hobbes expounded his idea of social contract in a wonderful book called the Leviathan (it is quite a good book,albeit a bit boring,a must read though and one of the finest books ever written on political and legal thought)He says the life of man is "nasty,brutish and short",and man was a savage who lived in a time when might is right,i.e the law of the jungle.
He realised in time that this way of life was reducing his chance of survival(obviously) and therein he entered into what was a contract,between him and his fellow bengs.He said 'i'm willing to give up all my rights to a "sovereign superior" if you are willing to do the same'.The condition- the sovereign superior will make the law of the land and all men will obey his command.

Hobbes theory had a problem-"the contract was irrevocable" and the sovereign was "the king"...Hobbes lived in a time when England had a fight between the parliament and the king,and he was pro monarchy.So hobbesian contract said you've given up all your rights to the king and so "obey his command",and you can't revoke this contract or you will go back in tme to a time of great savagery.

John Locke lived in the same period though he was much younger than Hobbes and he was not a pro monarchy kinda guy...he gave more importance to the british parliament.Though i'm of the opinion he was more pro parliament because by his peak,the monarchy was ousted and Oliver Cromwell(cool guy,look him up) was in power as Lord Chancellor(yup! that happened in England though monarchy came back after the death of cromwell)

Locke could rely on the leviathan and improve it(my opinion),though political thinkers think differently :-)..He said man led a peacuful and natural life in early times.but then there was no govt. and the absence of a government meant there was no security.So Locke put one and two together and said the state of nature was a state of insecurity.And so came the need for Social contract.

Locke says there were two contracts one among the people themselves i.e between each individual (social) and then between society and the sovereign(political).So to remove the sense of insecurity man made a contract among his fellow beings known as social contract which established civil society or the state.And to ensure security he made a political cotract with the sovereign known as the political contract.But this was not a irrevocable contract the makers that is the people can revoke the contract and even overthrow the sovereign (cool huh?. He said the community(civil society) is sovereign and the govt is only a trust or fiduciary body.But this too had many problems,which i won't dwell deep into,though one was and is man didn't definitely lead a peaceful life!and the thought of the got being a trust!


Jean Jacques Rousseau(yup the guy who ignited the french revolution) said man was a "noble savage" (no idea what that is!) According to him hat was a golden age.Man had morals and lived according to that.But according to Rousseau along came the establishment of "private property" and man became selfish,wicked,corrupt,cruel n cunning.Life became precarious and trouble erupted.To stop all this problem came the social contract of rousseau.It was a simple contract,a single contract among people themselves.With the contract their came into being civil society.Rousseau said general will is sovereign (i.e the will of civil society).So here the sovereign is a responsible one as the will of the peple rules itself but it is also despotic because the will of the majority is the high end of despotism(eg. french revolution).Rousseau wanted direct democracy.The sovereign of Rousseau is a popular sovereign as his measures show the popular will of the civil socitey.


That friends is the contract on the basis of which we being born as Indians have technically signed to adhere to the constitution of india!


'll explain- my generation seeks a different India,My generation would've done it differently and most of allmy generation is not signatory to this contract between the people and the state.I do want changes but can i have the right to ask,i've been tied down by my forefathers deal with the sovereign.

I've not agreed to give away any of my rights to this sovereign,and these are not the laws i asked for and this is not the kind of protection i expect of a sovereign.


I cannot ask you to look into what Rousseau said and i do not agree to sign a deal made by him no matter how much a popular democracy kinda man i am,for i need no despotic ruler and i can't expect a direct democracy in india there are too many crazy cow worshiping fools around.

I CANNOT ASK FOR hOBBES,THE THOUGHT OF SONIA RULING IS PATHETIC.


I can ask for Locke to come back from the dead and make me a contract i can sign with the state,and the people,but the state has become all powerful that it will throw me out or put me in prison for my asking a contract,should i sit back and cry cos i'v been dragged into a deal i'v no control over..

.....have i being born as a Indian have to sit back and say it was a LOUSY DEAL?


..........PLZ THIS IS A LONG BLOG AND TAKE THE PATIENCE TO READ IT,IF NOT ALL I CAN SAY IS I HAD IMMENSE SATISFACTIN WRITING IT.

i feel good

i feel good,

better than i normally do.

i should,

be a man of words few.

it would,

suit me fine,

biting more than i can chew.

i could,

let things be and search for avenues new.

i feel good,

maybe cos that i'm not going to do.

it should,

matter little to you.

i would,

be drinking a strange brew,

it could,

be poison to a member of your crew.

i feel good,

cos i pee well in the loo.

it should,

be a problem for an old man like you.

i would,

suggest deep breaths before you drew.

it could,

mean sleepless nights this you knew.

i feel good,

cos i don't wet with every boo.

you would,

be having a heart attack so shoooo,

you could,

stay with your friends so few,

you should,

know,old people ending up dead is nothin new.

i feel good,

thanks to you!

i feel good,

now i know i'm a better man than you.

:random::thoughts:

RANDOM : THOUGHTS : : :
: a guiltiness of doing great mischief :
: runs from my nose to the little toe ::
: belief in doing the right things gone:
? caught between forgotten days and?
! the better days that brought sense ?!
@ the end off all my doings stand you
$ WOMAN $ you are back,still a pest!
& didn't you say NO? & run after A,N,
O,T,H,E,R! still borns from the past /=
%come to remind me of TAINTED l~v!
@long last i know!where i belong,YES!!
FAR FAR FROM YOU ! ! yea
to the $$'s you should run,A MINUTE,
job should suit you fine,$$$ everywher#
=you are : random : thought : YOU are,
NO GOOD! @ your feet beggars beg**
"your eyes tell you lies"/ KINGS they=
NOT,choose any like choosing many##
BE GONE I TOLD YOU BEGONE;yet!
follow you ME,through thoughts of O,T,
H,E,R,S? $WOMAN$ you are?you are?
: R:A:N:D:D:O:M: & still borns bring to
me,your # T:H:O:U:G:H:T:S:......:ha:@u!