whitherin' youth.

i've been wandering as a result of which i've started wondering at the sad state of affairs the young man's heart is having. an young man should by the laws of nature or as i see it be full of life,must be having all the good things nature has bestowed on him/and the earth. i say if a young man isn't smiling or brimming with joy there is something wrong with the world. the world is right when the young are restless and the young feel the urge to be naughty (a diplomatic usage). the young rebel,the aged try to cage them,this is the way it should be,and that is when a cat is a cat and a mouse a mouse.

look around and i did,i saw no youth as an young romantic! where have all the "life is an open road" / "flower children" / "heroes" gone? we have lost the young man to history. Yes the " Establishment " has won....the 21st century will go down in history as the ' age of the establishment '. And with it " innocence has ended ".

the young were not polluted when young in the good old days i guess,but today it seems they come polluted....... the process of growing up in a system then " hating the system " and dying a "martyr" / changing it / attempt to change then fail / loving it (in some cases in the past,like George Orwell's 1984) doesn't happen anymore!

the stage of "questioning the establishment " happens no more,the system has changed so much,it has a place in it for the "rebels" too......a new kinda boxing bag given to the young to vent out their anger...so they can let loose and still love the system,if you want to "box" go box with the system rather than hit at the bag provided.

but the young are contended to do as asked,it's the system that asks questions now,not the rebels....."the end of history as stated by fukuyama was due to the fall of communism" but let me ask you isn't communism a romantic dream that smittens the young at first (not lookin at the leaders,they are old)......so if communism ended that means the young have lost the romanticism in their nature,for that political ideology thrives in this more than anything.

so history died yesterday,when the youth stoppoed dreaming of a place outside the system and started building castles in the air of homes in the system. the world thrives on change...and it's the youth that bring it, you can throw arguments like so long as science exists there will be change,i ask you will you guarantee me that science will give this worl a new generation of "flower children"/ "hell's angels" / or even " a rebel without a cause" ?

people like this...

So,you plan your life do you?

So, you get the misconception that one can plan one's life.And life inevitably includes "love".Simply because dead don't love,but the dead can be loved (either b'cos they are dead or after they die you feel their worth) And in the life of man/woman,it is a feeling/emotion/bane/trait (etc.) that won't ever die (option of suicide/murder of love left open). With the thought one plans one's life,one carries forward the belief one plans one's love too.

Let's see the many aspects of a plan.For one you need a target which you set to achieve (the target would be at a distance of course).And then you brace yourself for a step by step procedure (clandestine/open method).And then the most important of it all,your single minded devotion/determination to acheive it (by hook or crook in some cases).The factors affectin the reach of a target in life when overcome will be "hurrayed" by all people,and it feels good that way (but what i'm concerned here is not of the accolades rather of one's individual happiness). Hmmmm will this work in love?

A person who plans his life will have the misconception that he/she can plan for love too.(i'm talkin of one side of the coin not the other,purely because i don't believe love can be planned).One can plan for love if one plans to love "oneself".... you see there are no external factors(in this case).But when we are talkin of true,unconditional,"i'll die for you" kinda love,plannin is absurd, cos you can't plan to be "true","unconditional" etc..

Yes,at times you can trap a person you need to love you,but what is love without honesty? and would this single minded devotion to reach your target get you accolaades? no rather you might me called a bastard or bitch for it.Why? because in your love there was nothin called romance/love.And the only person who will say it was love is you,and in perspective you were not actually in love with the person but rather with yourself,for to get a man/woman to love you,you should market yourself and to be successful in that you must love yourself.(this is the case when you have a person existing as a target,in that you have seen him/her).

(but what happens when you have a plan to love a person so far non existant...."i'll love this kinda guy/gal syndrome")

memories should linger !

it's absurd to think i don't remember people,i do actually and that is why at times life is such a pain.


memories should linger,or there is something wrong with one being categorised as human,our ability to register our emotions as memories and then call back on those memories and feel the same emotion over again,is the best and worst part of our make up as humans.so haven't we all felt love,shorn off the sexual hints that modern life has added to the word?

and were those the best of times? or the worst of us as persons were shown? sit back sip your coffee,smoke your cigarette or that much desired peg when this memory comes callin...and ask wouldn't you want to be in that point in time again if you could? what could you have done different by the way? said you loved her? kept your mouth shut? said yes? said no? bizarre isn't it? cause there is a good chance that your mind would keep shiftin from one answer to another a hundred times by the time you finish the fag or the kick of liquor or coffee dies off. And in the end you don't reach a decision but rather ask yourself why the fuck did i even think of it again?


but,eh? we are human,can't help thinkin of it.so a singer sang "what's love got to do wit it"....well she kept askin the question cos of love in the first place.

wish we could be dogs at times,rather wish we could be animals all the time....cos to a large extent we are dogs every time the heat is on in our loins,yes we are.we run with our tongues out every time a bell rings that lets us know " mate ho!".
is it a question of beauty then? No. cos we definitely aren't runnin in front of them,we runnin behind...maybe it's the beauty of the backside huh? if this is what we are,what happens when the bell in our heart explodes?


we are overcome by more emotions than what we at normal times can have at any one stage,we are run over by passion,compassion,rage....and god knows what else.the younger one's do make mistakes aplenty,but hey the good part is our heart's never be that freezin cold till we dead. that is why the thought of a woman with a cold cold heart so confuses me,if my earlier statement holds then the lady must have died a long time ago.
And death of the soul is the death of love,and the end of the "love" feelin is the end of life as humans have known it,what comes in it's place is a mechanical being that except in a one off experiment like in the bicentenial man leaves a piece of workin machinery in the place of what was a human bein,which may i add even gives birth without love. What my friends i ask is the creation of a new being valued as,if no love was put into the makin of this new life. it is made without love so can you expect it to be loved or give love?

......................end of part ....1................

she's left..without an yes

the sun could've been blue,
and the sky a bright yellow.


i could've been true,
or a jolly good fellow!


but then you would've said Yes,
in love i would've died for you.


then men would play with cats,
and granny have a dog on her lap!


i would've to beleive in angels,
and the fairy godmother granting wishes.


Now it isn't so.


but everything could've been,
and every lie been seen.



One day they'll stop asking,
why broken hearts die?


hands that held roses three,
will die holdin a lily.


then i'll only be a ghost,
from the times of wee willie winkie.


on that day the frost,
'll no longer be chilly.


And from that day i'll rest,
knowing she's left,

my memory.

error ridden rear view mirror

cacophony of errors found in my rear view mirror,

a waving pedestrian-must've been a friend,now just a grain.

(a pedestrian friend now just a grain)

Did i miss much riding,looking back as i speed by?

i missed something red! left many things unsaid.

those mistakes'll haunt me not,i left before the dust settled.

the road ahead i'll never see,if my eyes are still,

glued to the rear view mirror,scared of memories catching up.

won't let them catch me,won't let them tie me down.

And so i ride,Error ridden further,looking at my rear view mirror.

life..

it does seem an awful way to put things in perspective,but to be in the situation i'm in,is to a complete extent not of any one else's doin but of my own.



i've put a rope around my neck,tied it's end onto a tree,and sat on a pissed off horse.Now can i blame the horse for runnin away?



life,ah ! what a bitch! seems nothin is going right anywhere in the world today.

you wake up in the mornin it's the same old thing with the "what do i do today?" question. so you call up people from what is left of a vibrant gang,who by the way did nothin but smoke up and down the steps....and the best idea you can come up is we meet at the same old place sit there and smoke plannin for the day,by the time you plan somethin the day's over,but stiil you part sayin "hey,there's always tomoro". Hmmm a great bunch of optimist asses.

So what do you do in a time when all that we can hope for is a lottery from up above.There is no shortage of intelligence,so what are we short of? the will? well it's definitely not the will to survive cos i got lots of it....so what is the missin link?

."F".

fellow-traveller,felon ;

felony felt female,

F e m i n i n e !

femme fatale..



..............to questions bein asked :
..............the thing above is poetry,it is in the order the words appear in the dictionary, i.e the words starting from 'fel to fem ', put together they make sense (atleast i think so)
the title of the poem is ".F.",it is because all the words begin with F and nothing more,the alternate title could be "femme fatale".